I’m sitting at a quaint coffee shop in my hometown that I have missed so dearly with the sounds of the coffee roaster churning through its next batch and the strongest, most crisp scent of coffee I’ve ever smelled. I wish I could live here in the coffee shop; I mean there’s a fireplace and everything so why not? I know in a few days my spring break will be over and I’ll have to travel through the icy tundra back to a place that means homework and papers and letters and scholarships and work, but right now, I am trying to live in this moment in this place with these smells and these people that I get to call friends, that I get to call family.
Slowly my cup of coffee is dwindling down, and people are continuing to come and go, come and go, like waves ebbing and flowing on a beach, never staying too long. I constantly feel like I’m traveling– something I’ve experienced since I was seven when my parents were divorced and I went back and forth, back and forth, from one house to the other, from one holiday to another, making traditions and a sense of “home” something hard for me to grasp. In many ways I thought college would magically heal this vagabond dilemma, but so far it has mostly kept the problem sitting at my toes. I still adore traveling; it is one of my favorite parts about life, being able to learn and experience other cultures and other places, seeing mountains I thought weren’t really that tall and people that help us to reach new heights in our lives. But the traveling that I often find myself participating in is more tiresome and lonely than the adventures I dream about taking– it’s simply me, in my little red car, putt-putting from one place to the other. But that is also okay, because I know this feeling won’t be with me forever and that one day, I will have a little house with a yellow door and I’ll be able to paint my walls the colors of strawberries and put a sign in the entryway that says “You are always welcome here” and all will be well.
I constantly thank the Lord for family that blesses me and walks with me through shadowed times and friends who restore me and give me hope. Thanks for letting me share a little bit of my heart with you. 🙂